Salt and vinegar

Right now I'm sitting in the back seat of a car on my way to Las Vegas. I ate probably way too many chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels from trader joes.  I wish that wasn't possible, but as I stare out the window and see nothing for miles, I am reminded of a time when I was much younger and in a similar situation; no trees from behind which I can exclaim "Liam Neeson!"  (see previous post... She's doing another bathroom humor story? Really?) 

Some relatives of mine live on a ranch/former pony express stop in the middle of nowhere Utah. In the West desert is this place called Callao. (pronounced Call-ee-oh)  I was riding with my cousin's family to go camping there when I was probably 8 or 9 if my memory serves correct. My cousin who I've always been close to is 3 years older than me. I always had to do everything she did. If she got a purse, I got a purse. She got a marionette puppet; so did I. She is like the older sister I never had.  I was always a little jealous that I was the younger cousin and I just felt like I could never catch up to her in levels of coolness, even though I'm sure she has never felt that way.

After we had been driving for what felt like days, though I'm sure it was a mere couple of hours, I looked out the window; as the barren desert wasteland blurred past, the pain of a full bladder struck with extreme force. My brain was screaming "WHY AMANDA WHY??? THINK OF THE CHILDREN! My cousin's bladder echoed back a reply around the same time, and of course there was nowhere to pull over.

Rather than panic, I wanted to seize this as an opportunity to finally prove my usefulness and maybe for once show that I was more than just the annoying younger cousin.  It was then that I spied the huge bag of salt and vinegar chips.

This was my moment! All of my Bill Nye the science guy knowledge was finally going to pay off because salt absorbs water... Obviously!

I authoritatively told my cousin that if we consumed the whole bag of salt and vinegar chips we would soon be home free and the lack of trees on the horizon would no longer be a taunting sight. I had to make sure that we ate the whole bag to ensure that my theory would work. My taste buds protested a little more with each chip as I coached like a rowing captain, "More!... (ow)... More!... (ach)... More!... (eungh)"

Well....  It was a good idea to be sure.  My brilliant theory didn't work exactly though. But by some miracle we made it to Callao and then were able to relieve ourselves. Such sweet relief it was. My tongue still hurts just thinking about those salt and vinegar chips.